Thursday, 2 October 2014

The trouser snake conundrum...

*Warning -This post contains mature content*

So, Thursday started like any typical Thursday. I spent several minutes locked in the eternal struggle that is convincing yourself that you must get out of bed, before firing up my electronic mailbox to check what had been occurring whilst I was tucked away in Bedfordshire. Usually this whole process passes by in a relatively uneventful manner; however today there appeared to be a small exception...

I had a penis spammer. 

I'm actually going to spare you the photographic evidence because it's not pretty - seriously, but an accurate description would go as follows:

Horizontal man in white briefs presents trouser snake atop stomach. 

Or a Daily Fail (Mail) version would probably go a little something like this:

Secret society member displays enormous, diamond studded cock on his surgically-enhanced six pack. 

Anyway, I digress massively, this whole, sorry incident panned out in a post comment on my Google+ page, (Working in a sneaky link) a public page may I add, so every Tom, Dick and Harry quite literally got an eyeful this morning. Naturally, the first thing I did was screenshot the whole thing and send it to my significant other who simply replied that, Ali Bin Mohamed Ali Bin Mohamed (actual name so go look him up), wasn't in fact a very good Muslim. Or a particularly pleasant person, one would assume. 

Now I'm not entirely a prude, but my parents brought me up to believe that flashing your parts to strangers wasn't the desired code of conduct. I also can't help but think that Ali Bin Mohamed Ali Bin Mohamed's parents would agree. So when did this sort of thing become acceptable, or if not acceptable, when did it become a thing? Seriously. And what also worries me quite a bit is the fact that I must have appeared somewhere on this pammer's (penis spammer's) radar. Is he a friend of a friend? (I hope not) Is he a cross-dresser? I mean, it was a comment on a lipstick post guys! Is my blog listed on some weird sexual site? Ali Bin Mohamed Ali Bin Mohamed isn't the first questionable character to grace my social media. It was only a few weeks back that I had an Instagram account under the name of 'dildo_cleaner' follow me. What does this say of my target audience? Perhaps my content is producing keywords that pop up in all the wrong internet neighbourhoods, who knows?

All this trouser snake drama has actually made me grow much fonder of my pet spammer/s, (mentioned here) and their wonderfully PG-13 spam comments. Thanks for keeping it clean guys!


  1. Oh no! Seriously though, G+ is the worst when it comes to spammy comments. I get them all the time, although not this graphic thank god. Gross.


    1. I've never had any spammy comments or anything through G+ before so this was definitely a new 'experience' haha xxx

  2. Sigh, more needs to be done to stop this! What is wrong with people!

    Style Sunrise☀


    1. I just don't understand it at all. Keep it in your trousers love! xxx

  3. Oh my god, this made me laugh I'm sorry. Whyyyy do men think women want to see their ugly gentials (I promise I'm straight, but c'mon!?!) Haha xxx

    Gemma // Miss Makeup Magpie

    1. It's just weird and gross right?! I do not need to see it when I'm eating my cornflakes, or anything else for that matter!! Blurghh.. xxx

  4. Girl, between this and the comment spammers....maybe your site is listed somewhere? Lol. It was hilarious though...but not at all a pleasant thing to wake up to I have to agree. :-)

    Beauty Isles | An Island Girl's Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

    1. Oh good grief, I can only imagine. Haha! xxx

  5. You're so brave to take this story with so much humour. I'd probably freaked out, as this kind of spamming has happened to me a few times in the past. From weirdos following me in the street to my neigbour standing in front of me exposing himself, to a uni stalker who send me penis pictures. People are can be so disgusting and gross. Hope you're well and it hasn't happened ever since. Nice blog design as well, it has changed a lot since I last visited. Need to come back more often. Happy Friday and hope to speak soon xxxx

    Caz | Lunch Break Adventures

    1. There are so many weirdos out there, I guess it's good to try and see the funny side in something like this. Some of the things that have happened to you sound quite scary though. Neighbours exposing themselves and stalkers are definitely not acceptable! Hope you're well and glad you like the new design. xxx


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