Sunday, 21 December 2014

The Best Christmas Cracker Jokes, Ever!

Guess what... It's Christmas next week and I'm more excited than a mouse in a cheese factory. Or in fact, myself in a cheese factory, because, well cheese is pretty exciting. I love cheese. 

Wow, that was awkward.

Anyway, I thought I would put together a post, jam-packed with Christmas cracker jokes to get us all into the holiday spirit. No doubt you will have heard some of these before, so no eye-rolling guys! Are you ready?

 What wobbles and flies? A jelly-copter.

 What do you call a man that plays with leaves? Russle. 

 Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy.

 What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.

 What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbit, ribbit? Mistle-toad.

 What cereal do cats like? Mice Krispies.

 Where does Santa go when he is sick? To the elf centre.

 What vegetable needs a plumber? A leek.

 What bird is always out of breath? A puffin.

★ What's round and bad tempered? A vicious circle.

 Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They're always dropping their needles. 

 What kind of paper likes music? W-rapping paper.

 What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing. It just let out a little wine. 

 How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten tickles. 

 What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker. 

★ What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.

 What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve. 

 What's the most common owl in Britain? A teet owl. 

Okay, some of these are pretty lame; however I couldn't help chuckling all the way through this post. Sorry, not sorry. Do you have any favourite Christmas cracker jokes? Make sure you share them in a comment below.  


  1. These jokes are hilarious!


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