Thursday, 18 June 2015

10 Unbelievable Things I've Never Done!

Does anybody else write their blog posts in word and then do a copy and paste job over to blogger? I’m trying it for the first time today so if this all goes tits up then I may need to follow up with a public announcement. 

The other day, my life took an interesting turn. Almost the entire day was spent in inside out, crotchless pyjama pants. Yep. And whilst that striking visual is surely enough to make you gasp into your trembling palm, I must point out that I feel neither shame nor fear of how society may shun me. I have officially reached that point in my life where I give no fucks. (If you’re wondering how to fashion yourself a pair of crotchless pyjama pants, just buy a pair of H&M slouchy bottoms three years ago, wash them three quarters of a billion times and enjoy. See, I also give great DIY advice too.)

I also got to thinking about all the shizz that I have yet to accomplish in my 27 years. The term, accomplish used loosely, however it dawned on me that there's a lot of stuff that, (unbelievably) I've never done, like ever. 

Such as:

1. Watched an episode of Pretty Little Liars or Gossip Girl. I know, I've probably lost several blogger points. Also, I don't have a clue what Blair Waldorf would do. 

2. Eaten a Big Mac. Or ever eaten anything from Burger King. I'm a KFC kinda girl. I don't care how much crap they put in their gravy... I heart the Colonel. 

3. Had a spray tan. There's just something about unleashing the pancakes and twirling around in paper knickers that doesn't appeal to me. 

4. Jumped off a diving board. I swim like a turkey, it's a fact. If it was socially acceptable, I'd still wear armbands and a rubber ring. 

5. Been to Ireland. This is simply inexcusable. I'd love to visit some time. 

6. Been to a festival. *Hides under a rock until people stop throwing things* Okay, I've been to festival-type events, but never camped overnight or had a wash with a baby wipe. 

7. Eaten an aubergine. They kind of look like a cross between Barney the dinosaur and Mr Greedy. Is it a fruit or a vegetable? What are you, strange purple object?!

8. Driven a car by myself. We won't get into my colourful driving history, but even having held my license for 3 years, it's probably for the best that I'm forever supervised. 

9. Had a cheeky Nandos. I think I once got as far as walking through the doorway but the queue was massive and I'm not the kind of girl who likes to wait for food. 

10. Played Candy Crush. Is this even a thing still? Same goes for that Flappy Bird nonsense and what's that new one called? Pirate something or other? Yea, I've never played that either. 

So come on, 'fess up - What unbelievable things have you never done? I promise I'll only judge a little. 

Mr Greedy, Mr Greedy aubergine, funny aubergine, funny mr men, funny mr greedy


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