Friday, 26 June 2015


This is going to be a grumbly, old-person type rant so if you're young and don't immediately say, 'god, the music is so loud in here' any time you walk into a shop, you're not welcome. 

Okay, you're still welcome but please bear in mind that after reaching 25, and the subsequent years after that, you're entitled to an age-related bitch now and again. See it as kind of a payback for grey hairs and a 'tiredness' that makes stumbling out of a club at 4am a very long and distant memory. Although, I have been known to stay out late on occasion, but this had always been under the agreement that a pepperoni pizza and cheesy chip feast awaits my poor, drunken, almost-thirty soul. 

Firstly, I'll make a point of  saying that I don't know what 'fleek' means. My initial thoughts were in the area of, 'I left the tap on and now I'm having to deal with a FUCKING BIG LEAK!' A F-leek if you will, although techincally speaking we should be talking vegetables here but shush, let me have my moment. 

I like sticking words together to make new words. It's fun. Like swollowers, I still pat myself on the back now and again for that one. 

Because I'm an asshole and I can't let sleeping lions lie, (I'm winging this one, is this the right phrase? I was originally going to go with letting sleeping fish lie but lions seemed to ring a bell.. Also major LOLs if it's neither of these animals) 

Where was I?

Oh yes, so on the back of my little word mongering above, I decided I'd have a bash at finding some age appropriate uses for fleek - you know, if you're not 14 and sucking your lips into a shot glass of a Friday night. 

- Oh man, I'm on the fleek this month. #PMSinLikeABitch 

- Margret down the street has been to the hospital 3 times this week. Her hip's on the fleek again. 

- Eeee. I'm bloody fleeked after that set of stairs!  

Last and best of all, or worst, depending on how you view life. The fart leak. 

"Urgh, you dirty son of a bitch... Did you just fleek?"

And that my friends is probably why I'll never be invited to guest speak at a blogging event.  

Peace and Love
P.S. My spellchecker is having a mare of a day today!


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