Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Let's Chat

Shall we chat?

I feel like we should chat.

Boys look away. 

Mother Nature is wreaking havoc on my womb today. I recently enjoyed one of my occasional months off, (my body is too lazy to commit to anything more regular) and I guess I'm now paying for it with toe-curling cramps and an overwhelming desire to eat myself up a dress size. 

You know it's bad when you feel the need to share your pain with your husband at 6am...

In less biological news, Scott and I put a deposit down on an apartment yesterday! I feel like only balloons and those fancy trumpet emojis can accurately sum up how I feel about this fact. 

So now, in addition to the bed base, mattress and set of three tapas dishes that we've bought since we moved, we should have an actual home to call our own at the start of next month. It's all very exciting, that is, if you ignore the fact that we still have so much to do/shop for. 

I'll be honest with you, Scott and I had a full-scale domestic over cutlery the other night. 

It is what it is. 

His argument was, 'well I trust you to go and get everything because you have good taste!' 

In women-speak, that's basically summed up as, 'I can't be arsed shopping for home shit. Can you just deal with it?' 

We spent three hours at the shopping mall on Monday night looking at home essentials so make of that what you will. 

FYI, we still don't have cutlery.

My iPhone is also mocking me. 

I don't know what went wrong in the whole setup process but for some reason it thinks I'm my husband. Don't even ask me how but I understand why they call them, 'Apple Geniuses.' 

During a particularly feisty moment, I tried to take up my grievances with Siri. The conversation went along these lines:

Me - Hey Siri!

Siri - Hi Scott, what can I do for you?

Me - My name is not Scott.

Siri - If you'd like me to call you something else, just say, change my name.

Me - Change my name...

Siri - Ok, what would you like me to call you?

Me - Kirsty

Siri - Kirstie

Me - No, Kirsty

Siri - From now on I'll call you Kirstie

Me - No, Kirsty... with a Y!

Siri - Ok, from now on I'll call you Kirstie with a Y. 

Me - Fuck off Siri!

Then, to make matters worse, Scott emailed me and this is what it came up with:

Anyone else confused?

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