What happens when you put your all into planning the perfect wedding and then the photographs land on your desk a few weeks later, only for you to break down in tears and confess that you hate them?
This is what happened to me.
Technically speaking, the pictures are beautifully shot and well edited, and I'm not saying that there isn't a single shot I'm happy with, but I had high expectations and well, I guess you could say they fell short.
My biggest issue?
I hated the way I looked.
On the day, I felt like a princess in my white dress, hair pinned back and my make up painted on perfectly. I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt truly beautiful - something that doesn't always come easily to me.
But now, staring at the photographs on the screen, I regret my decision to buy a strapless wedding dress - something I'd always sworn I'd never have. My up-do screams Jewish curls, rather than the relaxed, undone vibe I was hoping for and my hair that I'd had lightened for the occasion, seems brassy and unnatural.
I literally spent days, tearing myself to shreds and hoping that I could stuff the images into the back of my drawer and never have them see the light of day again.
Then I realised how absolutely ridiculous I was being.
My hair may shine a few shades on the wrong side of brassy and my dress may not be the most flattering, but the sparkle in my eyes as I steal a moment with my new husband tells far more about our wedding day than my fashion sense. Yes, it's that old cliche, but in that moment I came to the conclusion that none of it really mattered.
The endless nights we'd bickered over wedding invitations, poured over emails and increased our wedding budget for what felt like the hundredth time, all seemed like a huge waste of time. I loved our wedding day, but I can't help but feel like it almost wasn't worth it.
When it comes down to the bare bones, all I ever really wanted was to be married to the person I love waking up next to every morning. Flaws and all. 125 individual pink rose name tags felt like a must-have six months ago, but now, I just wish we'd have taken more time to relax and enjoy ourselves at our own party! It's funny what hindsight can do.
In a society where every glossy image in a magazine is airbrushed to perfection. Where a scroll through Instagram is a reflection of beautifully-polished images signifying beautifully-polished lives, and Pinterest wedding boards show you just how perfect your day could have been, it's easy to get disheartened.
Don't get me wrong, I had the wedding day of my dreams. I couldn't ask for a happier marriage, although I do wish my husband would figure out that shoes do not belong in the hallway, but you win some you lose some. Hearing our family and friends talk about the wonderful time they had, makes all of our hard work seem worth it, in a way and our wedding photographs are a lasting impression of the laughs, tears and deliciously-frosted wedding cake that made our day what it truly was.