Monday, 8 February 2016

The Accidental Birthday Card

I'm back with another wittery post today, and as it's Monday - which is the start of the working week for most of you folk, I thought I'd drop by with a tale that had me literally in stitches. Perhaps it'll brighten up your day as it did mine, or it might be one of those, 'you have to be there moments', either way, when it happened, I was very close to letting out a bit of wee and so I'd say that's fair enough reason to feature it on my blog.

Let me set the scene.

Birthday presents, funny birthday card

My husband, Scott, is a bit of a prude. 

Not a prude, prude, We both have a slightly crude sense of humour and can appreciate the funny in certain situations. When it comes to family though, it's a different story. For me, I've always had the kind of relationship with my mum in which we can joke about 'women stuff' and what not. I think those kinds of things are often much easier between mother and daughter. Scott on the other hand can't even acknowledge those things. He's fine with me but doesn't even want to entertain those thoughts about his family members. 

So when it came around to his mother's birthday, being the loving son that he is, he rushed around to make sure that he'd ordered her a Moonpig card to be delivered on the day. Being far too trusting, I left him to choose the card himself. It wasn't until Scott received an email on the day of his mum's birthday - informing him that it was due to be delivered within the hour - that I finally saw the glorious specimen he had chosen to send...

And by God it was good!

After picking myself up off the floor, I stared at my husband's confused expression and asked him if he could explain to me what a, 'Pelvic Floor Exercise' was... he couldn't but his response was:

'It's a card about wine though isn't it? You know, 'cause my mum likes to drink wine. The card's got a woman using her muscles to open the wine bottle.'

It was a sweet moment... That was, until I explained exactly what and where in the body you would 'exercise' your pelvic floor muscles.

FYI - If you don't know, just take a walk on over here and enlighten yourself.

To say that my husband was mortified is an understatement. 

After several minutes of tortured groans from Scott, I peeled my husband's hands away from his face and tried to fight back tears as I flashed him a toothy grin. For me, it was one of those, this is why I married you, moments; although watching me double over in stitches, I doubt Scott was feeling the same way.

His mum saw the funny side, which of course I knew she would but I'm pretty sure Scott still cringes about it every time he sees an advert for Moonpig. 

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