Monday, 5 September 2016

Marriage - When It's Not A Fairytale

Marriage - When It's Not A Fairytale

I feel lied to. 

Lied to by glossy magazines that talk about this, 'Newly Wedded Bliss' and smug married folk that post Facebook statuses about how perfect being married is - whilst doing that arm wraparound thing with champagne flutes and sporting horrendously cheesy smiles that make your insides want to die a little bit. 

When I was a child, I desperately wanted a fairytale wedding. I would play dress up with my bespoke, 'bath towel' gown and whisper my vows to Quackers (My first true, soft toy love.) 

Fast forward 20 years and the 'fairytale' wedding has been and gone, and I say fairytale in inverted commas because whilst yes, it was a dream-come-true wedding, it was also stressful as hell and I wanted to punch my new husband in the face when he ditched me at the top table to go and speak to his mates. 

Anyway, all I heard in the run up to and after the wedding was how wonderful it is to be a newlywed. 

"Enjoy the honeymoon period while it lasts!"

Apparently we were living some of the best moments of our relationship. We'd spend any hours that we weren't in the bedroom, staring lovingly into each other's eyes and wondering what life was ever like before we said the big, "I do."

In reality, I'm still losing my mind over the 368596 pairs of shoes that are left in the hallway every day and we've bickered about eating grapes. 

There have been moments where the thought of spending an eternity with my husband has driven me to gulp down a large glass bottle of wine and pray that I didn't make a huge mistake. Granted, these are few and far between, but I'd be lying if I said that these moments hadn't happened. 

So, on our very first wedding anniversary, I wanted to say that marriage isn't a fairytale. Signing on the dotted line doesn't guarantee you any additional happiness nor fix any existing problems that you may have in your relationship. There will probably be days where you can barely stand to look at one another, let alone get jiggy with it, and you'll worry that one day you'll lose the spark. 

I love my husband - in far more ways than I ever thought was possible, but I knew that before I decided to marry him. I don't know why I thought that being married would change things, or why I ever felt that it needed to? We were happy before we married and we're just as happy, if not more afterwards, so the fact that I let myself get tangled up in how un-magical our marriage was is ridiculous. 

The first year of our marriage hasn't been perfect. It's been moving across continents, extending our family by one small Shih Tzu and arguing over hanging a piece of artwork. It's been dealing with loss and concerns with work, but most importantly, it's been about being in all of these things together. I know this is the biggest of all cliches, (you may want to grab that bucket) but my husband is, above all else, my best friend. I've never been looking for perfect, perfect is boring. I just hope that we keep on loving each other through every unmemorable year and every dull married moment to come. 


No comments

Post a Comment

© Life in Excess | All rights reserved.
Blog Layout Created by pipdig